The Bold And The Beautiful ( A)

I cannot stop smiling thinking about it. I remember the early days of Cable TV when the Foreign channels flooded the Indian Television arena and the fight against the adulterous content was taken by the so called protectors of Hinduism and Indian culture.

That was the time when "The Bold and The Beautiful" and "Baywatch" were a taboo and were the craze for guys with lot of testosterone.

Watching skimpy clad well shaped and hot girls on TV was not something you can even think of during the Prime Time. Infidelity in "B&B" was a straight Adult certification by parents. It was seen only when there were repeated telecast of them at odd hours. That was then....

Circa 2005, Infidelity word is as common as saas-bahu fights. All the serials, the K effect, the Saas Bahu , have one common word and that is "Extra-Marital". Each character in the serial has an extra marital relation, no matter they worship God and talk of high ideals. Item numbers is a must for every movie. The Music Videos and TV Serials offer what we call Soft Porn.

Infidelity has come up to such a comfortable level that people( guys and girls) crack a very causal jokes on it( about each other's wife and husband). But what it is bring to the society is that we do what we see around being an accepted thing. And we can see the implications now, everywhere there is cheating over the spouse, guy having relations with a married female, girl having relation with a married man, married guys and girls having affairs( swapping , as they say). Adventurous couples are advertising in newspapers their desire to meet like-minded people for wife and husband swapping.

Yes, there were always cases of extra-marital relationship being reported for centuries altogether but never has it become so common and acceptable. And having sex without marriage has become so acceptable that now asking for a virgin girl or a virgin guy is not a mandatory requirement for the marriage.

The real source of the massive urge for sexual exploration that Indians, particularly women, have developed suddenly is as mysterious as the reasons for the rise and fall of civilizations. New technology is an important factor encouraging the phenomenon. Internet and mushrooming cyber cafes have helped, as have mobile phones and SMS (short message service) facilities. Women and men have suddenly heard from old flames, childhood friends, former classmates, whom they may have fancied once, dates have been fixed, and one thing has led to another. In most cases straight, unembarrassed initiatives have come from women, as men twiddled their fingers thinking of creative ways of broaching the subject.

So many married men say that even Krishna cheated and that I am stuck in some sort of Judeo-Christian cultural context. The god had a good time and he was not condemned for it, they say. And so women also tell the same thing, 'Look at our heritage. It is natural. Look at Krishna.'If there is a Krishna in men, there is a Radha in women. Why can't a woman be both: a wife and Radha? Indians are born with it. Men are doing their Krishna thing, and so are women.

I was reading Khuswanth Singh's, "In the Company of Women",
and was really amazed to see the relationship this protagonist , "Mr Mohan Kumar" , a bright Princeton Student with highest academic award ,had with so many women, from his college mate to a politician from Kashmir to his Kaam Wali Bai, to a teacher, to a secretary from Sri Lanka Ambassy to Goan Married woman to a nurse for his wife from Kerela, to a married woman doing Dhandha in Mumbai and in between with his wife too.

Wow, it looks like India is all set to compete with the US and other European Countries, in relation to the extra marital relationships.

The great Sanskrit poet Kalidasa, India's answer to William Shakespeare, reports on sex in a typical Indian winter and blesses the couples trying to beat the chill:


Women whose husbands continue unfaithful
though bitterly chided again and again,
note them flustered, visibly shaken by guilt:
yet, yearning to be loved (in the chill of winter),
they overlook these wrongs.

Enjoyed long through the long night in love-play
Unceasing by their lusty young husbands
in an excess of passion, driving,
unrelenting, women just stepped into youth
move at the close of night slowly
reeling wrung-out with aching thighs.

With breasts held tight by pretty bodices,
Thighs alluringly veiled by richly dyed silks,
and flowers nestling in their hair, women serve
as adornments for this wintry season.

Lovers enjoying the warmth of budding youth,
pressed hard against breasts glowing golden,
saffron-rubbed, of lively women gleaning sensuous,
sleep, having put to flight the cold.

Young women in gay abandon drink at night
with their fond husbands, the choices wine,
most delicious, exhilarating,
heightening passion to its pitch:
the lilies floating in the wine deliciously
tremble under their fragrant breath.

At dawn, when the rush of passion is spent,
one young woman whose tips of breasts are tight
from her husband's embrace, carefully views;
her body fully enjoyed by him
and laughing gaily, she goes from the bed-chamber
to the living-apartments of the house.

Another loving wife leaves her bed at dawn:
elegant and graceful, slender-waisted,
With deep navel and ample hips;
the splendid mane of hair with curling ends
flowing loose, the wreath of flowers slips down.

With faces radiant as golden lotuses
and long, liquid eyes; with lustrous lips
and hair playing enamored round their shoulders,
women shine in their homes these frosty mornings,
bearing the semblance of the goddess of beauty.

Young women burdened by their ample loins,
and drooping a little at the waist,
wearied bearing their own garments worn at night
for love's sweet rites,
they put on others suited to the day.

Staring at the curves of their breasts covered by nail marks,
touching gingerly the tender sprout of the lower lip bruised by love-bites,
young women rejoice to see these coveted signs of love's fulfillment,
and decorate their faces as the sun rises.

The wintry season that abounds with sweet rice,
and sugar-cane,
and mounds of dark palm-sugar dainties:
when Love waxes proud
and love's sport is fever-pitch;
when the anguish is intense of parted lovers:
May this season be to you ever auspicious!

(Translated from the original Sanskrit by Chandra Rajan)

source : http://www.atimes.com/atimes/South_Asia/EE24Df09.html

Merry Christmas !!

“Dashing through the snow
On a one-horse open sleigh
Over the fields we go
Laughing all the way;
Bells on bob-tail ring
making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing
A sleighing song tonight
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh “


Whenever I remember of the Christmas, I remember of this song and for some reasons I really loved this song, maybe because of the word snow or something mystic in the whole Santa Claus thing.

I studied in a Convent School, so I had seen a very good preparations for Christmas and all the puddings and cakes and Jesus in the cradle, beautiful lightening and some skits, songs and the whole gala affair of it all. Though it was a Christian school, I am happy, they never preached Christianity or any sort of forced practice upon us to learn or follow Christianity. So, I must say I enjoyed the whole Jesus Christ celebrations and delicious food with much thought about the reason or impact of Jesus Christ on the world and people. But now I look back and feel sad, I feel that most of the big Churches use (abuse, actually) Christianity to make people fool and earn big donations. They had done lots of mass conversion in India and in many other countries.

Anyways, no use criticizing any religion. I always wanted to go to church on 24th Midnight (some hours from now) and feel the energy of the people int he church, and how they celebrate this great occasion and be a party to their joy. But, I didn’t had any Christian friend and when I made a Christian friend, Mili, I would always promise her that I will come to church but would somehow or the other miss it. Today, again I wanted to go, but in Bangalore there are not many churches where the mass is read in English, as most of the audience in the church is the local crowd and so the local language is used.

I know it’s bad on my part to not keep a promise, not to Mili, but even to myself. But I promise myself that one time, very soon, I will celebrate the Birth of Jesus in Church.

Till then, I praise "The Father, Son and the Holy God", sitting at home.


A merry Christmas to you all and may Santa Claus fulfill all your wishes by tomorrow morning.

Gen Z !!

GenZ Photos !!

!!!!!!! Adieu 2005 , Hello 2006 !!!!!

Here again, at the cross-roads of meeting a brand new year and bidding good-bye to the year going by. Another year of on this earth is going to end. Another cycle will begin.I tend to feel pretty nostalgi when trying to go down the memory lane. No matter whether the things in the past are good or bad , but you always remember it with a strong emotion attached to it and that is simply because you have lived everyday of the past, through every sorrow and pain and joy and so you value those days as much as you value today.

Now looking back at the year 2005, for one, it went like a ferrari on a US highway, I could'nt believe that this year has come to an end. My trip to Lake Tahoe is still as fresh in my mind and the droplets of fog today morning. Frankly, nothing big happened this year. I was in the US for firt half of the year. Lots of young guys joined us in the US(through project) and so we had a good time together, going to Half-Moon Bay and Santa Cruz beach. Oh that fabulosu trip to LA was something I will never forget for 3 reasons apart from the fun I had there. First, I drove a brand new 2005 Toyota Camry and that too for almost the whole of my trip from SF to LA. Second, the mad driving in LA, getting honks, labyrinth highways and all the mess on road. Third, met my buddy, Debo, there is LA after a long gap of 9 months.

Then I was back in India, and my feeling was just the same as you watch a movie in B&W TV after having watched it for years in a colour TV. Everything looked so dull and sad, depression, bad roads, pollution, dust, junk buses, overcrowded autos, horrible traffic and stray animals. It looked as if I have been put into a zoo, atleast thats what an American gets as a first impression.

Anyways , time heals the worst of the wounds and so I got accustomed to the "India". Had a gala two weeks vacation at my home town and then headed for Silicon Valley(silly, India's so called silicon valley, bangalore). There is some magical power with this city. Your days and nights fly like a wink of an eye. I dont rememeber a particular day , if it is Tuesday or Friday. All day seem same all night feel same. Only on weekends I can feel the difference as I wake up late, can skip Bath sometimes and go for lunch directly , then doing my laundry and other sundry works or just hop at Forum or M.G. Road and please my eyes looking at some hot chicks there( BTW, a person from Delhi will hardy find any solace finding a hot girl here). So thats how my life was passing, or should I say running a marathon. Then came October and the festive season started. Everyone was in joyous mood, it looked like happy times have come back. There were two long weekends during this period , one for duserra and other one for Diwali. Now I have been in Bangalore for around 20 months but never went for any long trip, so this time I decided to go for a gala vacation. And my colleague and a new friend , Ankur suggested to join me(actually , I joined his gang)for a trip to either Goa or Kerela. Now I chose Goa for obvious reason,as I havent been to Goa before. So we headed for 4 days trip and man-oh-man , what a trip it was , I did had so much fun. Driving motor boats, going deep inside the beaches,playing at length with the waves, eating exotic breakfast , lunches and dinners, wearing Goa style dresses and lots of Booze and one peg of Fenny(horrible smell, I must say). The Pallindome beach was the most beautiful beach.And there was enough material to feast our eyes too :).

And then it was Diwali time, the mother of all festivals for most of India. I went home and met a lot of friends and a few relatives too. I love sweets but seeing myself in mirror, I hate them the most. And to my great relief and the lates trend, when you visit somebody's house, they now do not offer you the tempting rasgullas or Gulab Jamuns, now they offer you dry fruit, which is not that bad for a calorie conscience person. So, I gladly would accept Pista and Cashewnuts.No crackers as I feel I have grown old enough for that and somehow unintetionally wanted to do my part in reducing pollution in the City.

Then I was back in Bangalore and again the magic spell started. And here I am, 9 days close to the new year. Every year gives me lot of anxieties, thinking what will my life be , when I will be writing about the year gone by. This coming year is especially a little more exiciting. Going to US, marriage proposals will start pouring in, and I have some big financial stakes which I hope should yield the fruits to me. Lets hope, keeping my fingers closed, I welcome you 2006 with all my heart and soul.

My Journey To The Pro World !!

The year was 1998, a small frail, no confident guy was on the cross-roads, he was sitting in the Kurukshetra University's Hall, waiting impatiently for his turns, while watching the TV monitor
displaying the number of seats left in the Government Colleges for the Engineering Degree. And with every guy going on the stage to reserve his seat, his hopes of getting into YMCA college was diminishing.

He feared if there was no seat left in that college. What will happen to him, his dreams, his life. He felt dreaded thinking of going into a private college which were considered a second rung institutes where most of the people with less brains would go. And to his bad luck or bad dreams, he wanted to take up Computer
Science, which in the year 1998 was even hotter than the hot winds of Thar Desert and reasong being Infosys which was making people from different section of society, millionaires. So, almost every guy in that hall wanted to secure a seat for Computer Science department in the best available college. And here was our protagonist sitting and praying to God that somehow he secure a seat in Computer Science in a good college. But I guess that day God was little too busy and his prayer might be in the pending list of God’s mailbox.

Finally his time to choose his carrier came and it came like a thunder. When he went on stage to look at the currently
available seats in different government colleges, he was shocked to see that all the Government colleges were filled, baring a few like PEC with ICE(Instrumentation and Control Engineering) and a few other trivial subjects like Architecture or Chemical Enginerring seats were left on VRCE(Nagpur).So it was a deciding moment, other students were waiting desperately for their turns and the teachers sitting on the podium were in too much of haste as if they were desperate to go to the restroom and I was holding them back. Anyways, I had gone with my brother and he left me the option open. Either i can take some subject in a Government College or try my luck for a good private engineering college in CSE department. I chose the second one and now I had to decide the private engineering college to choose. I was the first guy to choose among the available private engineering colleges. Now to my bad luck and kind-of over-confidence I didnt find out about the private engineering colleges and so I was completely blank and my brother sensed it and was really giving me angry stares, for my incomplete homework. So, I had not much option left but to choose the name of the college which sound most familiar to me and there it was APJ college, now I was a student of APJ school and have seen the APJ college students in the school as the building of APJ college was still in construction so for the time being, the college was running from the school and it was pretty close to my house so I felt safe and secured and so I gave my Thumbs Up for APJ college for CSE department.

I was sad because I wanted to go into YMCA college but was equally joyful at the thought that I will be staying at home and was familiar to the college and that I would be studying Computers with which I had fallen love during my 2 years of High School(+2).

Anyways so when I got into college I had one dream and I dream it more frequently than dreaming about one of my latest crush and that was about going to USA. That was the place where I belonged, that was my final destination that was my DREAM.
My years in college went without much effort required from my side but my determination for USA grew stronger with each passing semester. I was dreaming of US very frequently. Would read about IT companies in the US. But my dreams were when the Bubble Burst happened , IT professionals were left stranded , the companies were closing at a mammoth rate.The Indian professionals were heard being working in a McD shop or working as a waiter or at the petrol pump. The impact was very well evident in India also. Previously, the "Accent" used to be of 9 pages blooming with IT jobs in any big companies but now after this IT Bubble Burst, the pages got reduced to 4 pages of which two pages were for spiritual or other crab and the remaining page was for jobs in civil or mechanical industry. IT was dead, or so we thought. So when in the year 2002 , when we were finishing our graduation, around 45% of the class fellows were writing GRE/GATE exam. There was a huge rush to go to US for higher studies as there were no jobs available. But giving the high money factor involved, I never thought about it. I always wanted to go to US to earn big bucks not to spend big bucks. So I stuck to India.Days passed , weeks past, but no job offer. I would go to Nai Sarak and buy technical books on JAVA, JSP etc and try things out. I would go for jobs offer for a meagre Rs 5K and would get startled to find such a huge Queue and sometimes I would come home, taking lifts from trucks without even attending the interviews as the seats were already fill before my turn would come. I had distributed approximately 150 Resumes to the companies in Delhi, Gurgoan and Noida. I went by bus and then walking, to the reception of the big, small IT firms and majority of times I would have to drop my resume to the security guard. Those were the days when my dream changed from going to US to securing a job of even Rs 5k. That shattering of dream was a very bitter experience for me; I was very hard consoling myself about the bitter truth of the life that it is all not so rosy.

I got a job (work for free) in a firm named Eclipse Systems in Gurgoan.Initally I agreed to work for free thinking at least I will learn something and will also get an experience certificate.At that time, I was as desperate to get rid of my fresher tag as any guy after marriage wants to get rid of his virginity tag. So I started going to Gurgoan daily, spending 45 bucks only on travel and food was an additional expense. The only good thing about that place was that it had A.C. and the internet was free. I had to design a website for that firm and so was collecting data and trying to find some good format to put it. Then another guy joined me in the work and he was also hired for free. Then we became good pals, both facing the same dilemma of working for free. Then we got a little frusrated for working for free. We approached our boss and asked him to give us some remuneration at least enough to cover our expenses for the travel and food. He got infuriated, he said, I hired you guys for free and now you are asking me for money. I won’t give you a single penny, whether you work or not. So that was the last day of our "work for free”. Then my search for jobs again began. I then met a tout. I used to read so many ads proclaiming jobs, so I went to meet one such person. He demanded me 1k, as processing fees etc and assured me of a decent job for around 9k.Now its like finding water in oasis , and so grabbed the offer without much thought. But that was a very painful journey. Going from one location to other as would be advised by that fellow, only to find that there was no such job. I was sad and quite depressed but then my brother's marriage came to rescue. So I was busy with that and for sometime I was in a good mood. Then I got call from Infosys. I was not much interested in Infosys, for most of my college friends were not able to clear the written test for Infosys. And moreover, I had a test on the day of the Infosys test and so I decided to ditch this exam and instead go for the NTPC exam. But to the sheer luck, the NTPC exam was postponed to a week later.So I went to my friend Mili's house and just told her about my Infosys test and she told me to write the test. She even gave me a few Infosys question papers and after her pestering me, I started looking at the previous Q papers. And to my sheer luck, my buddy, Debo had also got the call and so he also pestered me to go for the test. So I finally attended the test, and did my test fine. But not very good to expect clearing it. After a few hours, the results were out and I was selected. I was elated, but was worried for the interview scheduled for next day. I prepared a little for interview and went next day to face the interview. Now I was lucky in the manner that I was so confident that I wont clear the interview that I was blunt and frank with the interviewers. And waited with abated breadth for the results. I was ,deep in my heart, pretty confident that I would made it, but like my personality I believe in "Action speak louder than words". So I told my family that I wont be able to make into Infosys. But the D-Day arrived and I got an email from Infosys C&B department. And that is how my journey into the Big Bad Professional world started.

The later part of my journey and other adventures , in the next part.

One Night At Call Center !!

No, this is not about the fancy book written by the "now famous" Chetan Bhagat. Its the crude reality which has come to surface due to the horrible incident which has taken place in Bangalore, my city.

The rape and murder of Prathiba Murthy was a shocking experience to everyone and I was also shocked.I dont know why I was so shocked, I mean the rapes and murders happen everywhere across the country but I feel, I never expected any such thing to happen to an IT/ITES employee , probably becuase company take utmost care for their employees and this being happned when the deceased was in the cab back home.

I have always considered this city a safe haven , probably becuase there are people who earn well and respect the others(including cab drivers) with good dignity. So, I always felt that there is a mutual understanding between the IT company employees and the allied service employee working in the city. But this incidence has brought to light that all is not so hunky-dory in this city as well.

I feel the IT companies have become so much complicent with their order in place that they could have never thought that such mis-management could ever happen.This will definately be an eye-opener for the whole IT/ITES industry.

What hurts me the most is , why should anyone be so cruel to kill the other person. Did he think that he can escape the eyes of the Police ?? The most disgusting thing is that the culprit has a wife who is nine months pregnant. Did it never occured to him that commiting such a henious crime can bring his whole family to a sad demise.
I think that basic problem is that people in lower class do not feel anything, no guilt no shame and no law, they are in real sense animals.

I just hope that soon these people also start feeling that they are respected and they are paid decent enough that they do not demean their life to such an extend of commiting a henious crime without thinking for a while. Only then will India shine properly, otherwise it will always have a scar on it body.

PS: I wanted to write so much,am so angry at the incidence , but am just too angry to write anything. Lots of emotions are, I guess, better felt through heart rather than in writing.

Tale Of Two Birthdays !!

Its my birthday today.Well its actually my second birthday today. Ok, so it sounds quite wierd, a guy with two birthdays, am I going insane ?

So, this second birthday is with the grace of my father, who mentioned this day as my birthdate while filling the admission form for me.

I never knew that he had put this day as my birthday , until, I got my 10th Standard certificate stating this day as my birthday.At that time I felt really angry , that I will have to live with a false birthday , but over years I have started using it to my benefit. You know making two birthdays really confuse people and then you escape party. Well party is not the actualt thing , but I kind of like keeping it low profile.so this two birthday thing help me avoid un-necessary attention.

But today, I couldnt escape coz of this dual birthday.And so I cut the cake and then I received very strong bumbs from all nook and corner. I cant understand how come people, who were sitting so calmly in their cubicles, all of a sudden start behaving like a mob who has just caught a petty robber. Anyways , I am not surprised , because I hve been the part of the mob a number of times.

I have postponed my Party to later days, but I know this weekend gonna make a hole in the pocket.

Happy Birthday To Me!! Happy Birthday To Me!! Happy Birthday To Me !! Happy Birthday To Me !!

Living on The Edge !!

My protagonist, lets name him Alok, for easy reference , was born in a still conservative India. It was the year 1980. It was the era when the values and ethics still held high in the society, when children would still say nameste to elders and when they would touch the feet of the old people. When he would feel elated at the thought of watching a movie on DD1, when he would imitate Ashok Kumar in Hum Log , when he would fascinate about the outer world watching Space City Sigma, when his adrenine would get booasted watching Spiderman , He-man, when he was amazed by the Story of Ramayana and Mahabharata, when he would find Lord Krishna, the naughty side of himself, when he would feel so happy to receive prasada in the temple after the prayers, when his life has no more complications than doing homework, watching TV and playing, when Dharmendra was a Strong man, when Rajdoot was the Bike of the Strong Men, when Nirma was the most popular Washing powder available, when Lakshman-Sylvania was the best known brank for the blub, when colour TV was still a thing of rich , when Cable was in its nascent stage , when computer was not the world heard-of except in big companies ,when Resumes were typed in Typewriter, when taking picture was a rich act, when life was mostly on bicycles or Scooter(Lamerreta), when in marriages the most famous song was "Meray Yaar Ki Shadi Hai..", when schools were just about studies, when Doctors, Engineer, Civil Servants were the most sought-after professions, when Cinema halls were visted during any special occasion, when the whole family used to sit for dinner together, when the childeren used to sleep by 10pm , when crackers were exploded from the day of Dusherra, when the putlas of the Trio Ravana were made in each society, when the champaks were very famous, when the Mickey and Donald and Tom and Jerry , were the life of kids, when girl friend, boy friend was not the topic discussed in home, when the TV was switched off or channel changed, when an ad of Sanitary napkin or Condom was shown, when Discovery of India was a fabulous Documentary shown on TV, when Independence Day and Republic Day were special occasion to see the Parades in DD1 or DD2 and listen to the PM/ President's Speech and the heart would get filed with patriotism, when Hindi was language of all, when light and water were a luxuary and so whatever available to the people , was taken with regards, when children used to dance in rain, when Iodex was the trusted name in case of pain in bones, when vicks and dettol were the only thing known in their categories, when showing extra-marital affair was equi-valent to showing an Adult movie, when the romance on-screen was limited to kisses and which used to happen behind 2 flowers, when rich guy , poor girl or vica-versa were the main theme of the movie, when the villians used to rape the girl,when the birthdays were celebrated with a visit to the temple and celebrated with Jalebis and Kheer, when politics was not affecting the lives of people, so much, when Government job was the most sought-after job, when dowry was a intimate part of the marriage, when melas were the part of every town and city , when telephone was not much heard-of, when USA was considered a different world altogether, when Hockey was the game of the nation, when a sadhu was never shooed-away, when the fore-cast was made by the sadhus visiting homes, when chitrahaar was the sole medium of watching songs, when rangoli was the best attraction on a sunday morning, when Helen and the likes were considered as Bad woman and were the chosen one for such bad roles, when crying was a basic ingredient of any movie/serial, when Kancha bottle was the best available soda at that time, when kite flying was the common pastimes of kids and young in the evenings, when friends were made for the lifetime , when neighbors were most closest to your family. But it was then. Now he has moved through the course of his life from a small city to a cosmopolitan place, Bangalore and has even seen the pomp and show of America , while in Silicon Valley for an year.

But today when he sits back and think of the times gone by , he sometimes feel , is he the part of this new India, has he stopped progressing like others, is he still roaming in the old times, when the new world has taken over this country.

He sees a different India, a country when kids do nothing for compulsion, they nickname everyone, young or old, and they make fun of anyone. They watch Ramayana or Mahabharata, only for fun, they don’t need to learn anything from this archaic holy books. They prefer animation Hanumana rather than in the Ramayana, coz he is lot funnier and animated. And he entertain them for 3 hours rather than the sluggish progress of Ramayana Epic with some many sentimental songs in it, when they prefer watching Friends rather than watching the re-telecast of Naya Nukkad, when Fast is the game, when temples are tourist spots , when Hrithik is masculine , when keeping girl friend or boy friend is common as keeping pets, when smoking cigerattes is no longer a taboo, when getting high(drugs) is what every youth lounges for, very often , when celebrations is done with Whiskey and Beer, when adult movies, porn sites are considered normal, when watching condom ads and sanitary napkins ads are considered a part of sex-education, when Channel [V], MTV are the rocking channels,when extra-marital affairs in TV is as common as guy falling in love with a girl, when the TV serials are no less than soft porn, when Aastha and similar channels are meant for the old people, when News is more interesting than a hindi movie, when Sansani is much better than a suspense serial, when watching movie is just to relax for 3 hours, when hot babes and macho guys are the only ingredients of a successful movie, when Item girls and item numbers are a part of the marketing strategy of the producer, when sex sells everything, when morals and values and ethics are considered im-practical, when IIT, IIM are as known as Parliament, when XBOX, Play stations are the in things for the kids, when independent houses have become equivalent to a Villa and Flat are as common as Jhiggis in the past are when neighbors are seen as frequently as Full moon, when fast money, fast cars are in the thoughts of every youth, when a government job is dull and job in IT industry, call center is the rocking job, when Share Trading terminals are available in every nook and corner , when India is making frequent headlines in the international newspaper as a Powerful Economy in this world, when going to USA is like making a trip to the south, when choices in any product category is mind boggling , when price , sentiments and quality have a very complicated relationship in mind of a product owner, when jeans , mini-skirts, Camisoles are as casual in a girl's wardrove as Salwaar Kameez, when beggars and sadhus are shooed away and money is given for charirty of Tsumani , Kartina, Rita and Earthquake victims, when friends have a limited shelf life , when going aborad is no more a prestige symbol, when being online 24 hours is the need of the day, when 24 hrs availability of light and electricity is equivalent to a fundamental right.

So , Alok is living in this present world, and he feels, he is a bit outdated, he never had any girl friend, infact his group in school and college also never had any girl friends, now either they were a bad omen for him or he was a bad omen for them ,he had lots of crushes but they were all crushed , when he started working in a company, he found that all his colleagues are far ahead of him, some had more than one girlfriend, some had stable girl friend for years altogether, some had affairs with married women , some had all the fun of the youth before marriage , he was surprised to see this new world, when pre-marital sex is not an issue , the issue is a safe sex, when virginity is no more a very strict requirement for marriage, when statistics show that an average guy looses his virginity in the age of 16-20 and girls even before that, when jokes on sex are as common and accepted as jokes in Sardars,. This is the changing time, this is the changing India. Probably Alok didn’t change fast enough to catch up with the new India, probably for him, the previous world still feel much better, when he loves the slow moving life, when he still cherishes the old wind , probably he is too stupid to resist such change, or probably he didn’t find this new fast moving, glossy world, very enticing. As the lyrics in “Living on the Edge” goes, " There is something wrong with the world today ............."

Run For Life !!

Run for Life, for if you keep sitting on your ass the whole day and night, it wont be long before you resign to the bed , soon.

GYM, the word in childhood, I always used to think , is for only those ppl who want to make BIG muscles. Thats why, I never joined it, as I was never interested in making BIG muscles.It was later, much later that I reailised that there is more to GYM than making muscles. I didnt feel joining the GYM, for I was such a slim and trim gum , with a fabulous stamina , for I was playing Soccer everyday for 4 hours.

But later ,when I was made to study for IIT, which I never wanted, my body started to change. Everyday, with lots of Heavy books, I was going down , went so down every coming day , that I did not notice , that after 2 years, I have chanaged from a Sukdi(thin) guy to Motaa(Fat) fellow. But my bad luck did not end there. Leave apart the fact that I did not make anywhere in the IIT, nor in the Roorkee Univ, nor in DCE. My parents fell hopeless. My relatives, got the much needed topic to gossip and make my life misterable.

Anyways , I made into some decent college. There also, my physique went from bad to worse. i was a day scholer, so the whole day went in college and late nights at home watching TV. For some reasons, I stopped taking my lunch box from class 7th. so, I used to eat in the College canteen, which was just like any other college canteen , who's standard and quality need no mention. Everyday having Aloo-bonda and tea , really took the toll of my health. Anyways , this continued for 4 long years. Then after college , I started looking for job. Now, to my good and bad luck , it was the year 2002, when the whole world was still under the IT bust , so no companies , was offering any job. But good thing was that i used to travel long distances, in Gurgoan, noida and Delhi , looking for as paltry job as for 5k INR and even there , the crowd was very huge. But due to this long travels, my physique became a little better. Then with God's grace , I got into Infosys . It had such a nice Gym, Swimming pool , Jacuzzi, Steam and Sauna Bath. I thought, I would have a great time building my body. But my fate has kept something else for us. That was the day 13th Jan2003 and it is today 9th Dec 2005, almost 3 years and I have gone to GYM only 20 times. Thats a different case , that I was not in India for around a year. I went to GYM today after a very long time and felt so great, what a feeling you hahve when you see your body in motion, you sweating out, feeling the improvement of yourself, feeling light and feeling fresh. Wish , I could go everyday and feel the same. Today was a big day for me , for I have come to GYM after around 1.5 years. Hope , it does not die out soon.

Its already 2am , lemme take a quick nap, before I start fighting with another day in the making.

Am I Drunk !! ( Adult Content)

I dont know if Iam druk and writitng this shit or have my sense really transcdended beyond a level, where I dont have to care for mundane things to write about.Like is a peice of shit ,which one has to keep touching everyday , even when he hates i the most.I dont understand god's philosphy , even when 99% of ppl r unhappy for something or the pother , he still keeps sending life donw there , as if he is not having much fun still. Nobody is haooy , nobody is fucking happy , somebody has some personal problem , somebody has work problm , somebody has society problem ( enuchs !!) or somebody has the problem wiht the life in general. Nobody is happpy , everybody is running for something or the other without knowing where it will lead to.Why the heck r we fucking our ass left right center bwhen we dont know where we r going to. Right now , I am feeling so angry so fucked up wth this world tat i want pink flod to rescue me, i listen to his "comportably nu, mb" , i want to get comfortably numb , but i need to get high in order to get to this state. I dont understand where this fuking life is leading me to. Ypu have no motivation to go on. Your vompnay screws ur as with al the fucking rating, CRR, banding , as if u r nothing much than a cock who is fighting wih anothet cock and if u will , u will get a good reward , else u wld be served in the dinner. Wy the fucking hell has money become so damm important tht ppl recognise each other with this stuff. Why am i not in a nomadic civilisation , i dont want to porgress at this level , where i have to curb my raw emtions behind the face of society , i wanna be raw a, a raw creature , who do whtever he wants any time , and if reqd fight and settles the matter. I watch nat Geo and feel why i am not one of those creatures who lives life so open and still have a steady society. This fucking naked ape , the human , has got a life which is far more miserable than other. Reminds me of "The naked ape" by desmond morris , who explaing tht this current society is nothing more than a laywer to cover for our nakedness , our naked and stark desiers which our other earthy creatures exhibit , but he has find convenicence in getting the things under carpet and shwoing a false face/

How long can u survive like that ????

Did u ever felt like shout aloud , when u felt very happy and contended urself with sending a soft moan or at max , banging ur table , and its all coz ur society doesnt permit u to be so loud , what a fucking society which does nt let out ur emotions , for the sake of manitaing a decoram. I wanna shout loud , sing loud, so what if my voice s pathetic , i wanna live a free like , which knows no bounds , ad not in some place where everything is so manipulaitve and caluculative that u knw , whta person is gok na speak and do.

this world hae only given missers to the moajotory, so many pppl pray at any given day that they shld seiqe to exist now, tht they shld not see the next moment of life, still they continue to live for yrs altogether to face the trayma and sickness every coming moment. Get reloived and go high , transcend beyond this mundane earth and see the outer world, it has much peace and order, it has tranquality and confort wchih will keep you alive and kicking , but only in ur dreams , Coz the rea mworld is ver scary. You stand alone in this world as you keep fighti gfor ur dreams and goals but everytime to analyse ur dreams , u find that they r playing a cat and mouse race with u. u get sick of all this , whyc the heck am i still living and seeing this shit happeneing to me everydaya and every moment. Why doesnt life seem to exist, why doesnt thos world sleep forever as i am feeling sleepy and how i wish i never wake uo to another fucking mornng.

Recent Reading !!

After a long long time , I finally started reading voraciously again and its all coz of the fact that now I am paying to read the books and not reading it for free. Someone has said it right, "Anything which comes for free, doesnt hold any value for you".

So, I read , this wonderful writer's novel "Love in the time of Cholera" , by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.


It is a story of hopeless, tortured romances. Florentino Ariza's long (half a century!), passionate, and tortured love for the haughty, oppressed Fermina Daza is the stuff of masochists. When the lady of his heart goes and marries another man, Florentino spends his life pining over her. Despite his finding solace in hundreds upon hundreds of sexual encounters, his heart remains true to her. Everything he does, he does with the hope of one day regaining her love. His rise as president of the local shipping company, his redecorating his childhood home, his devotion to the arts -- it's all for her. So strong is his love for her, that his tortured passion resembles the symptoms of the dreaded cholera, the disease that repeatedly ravaged this Caribbean town. And of course, there is also Fermina's husband, the illustrious Dr. Urbino. As the most respected, most innovative doctor in the region, he is beloved by all..... except his wife, who married him more out of convenience than anything else, after she realized that the poor Florentino could offer her very little. One thing which really made me think was the way this guy Florentino has found that all the widows are watiign desperately to be loved and he finds the best opportunity in them to fulfill his passionate desires, though only extending to the physical ones, after he realised that love for Fermina could be replaced by mundane pleasures. Here's the quote stating his thoughts
"At the height of pleasure he had experienced a revelation that he could not believe, that he even refused to admit, which was that his illusory love for Fermina Daza could be replaced by an earthly passion."

So, when he realised that all widow woman are waiting to be loved desperately , at that very moment he realised that Dr Urbino has to die so that he can get his love Fermina for himself as a widow. And it did happen, that Dr Urbino dies in a very funny way , trying to catch the Parrot(its a speaking parrot) , slips from the ladder and dies. And there goes the protagonist looking for his love, who has now become a widow. Here's what he says to her on the day her husband dies,
"Fermina," he said, "I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century, to repeat to you once again my vow of eternal fidelity and everlasting love."

He still waits fro a period of around 1.5 years , within which he has sends her hundred's of letter , which she has enjoyed reading , before the roamnce comes to live again after 50 years and it comes in the form of a trip on Florentino's trip with Ms Fermina on his Royal Cruise. It is where the love(lust) starts to ignite and this time , Fermina also doesnt stop herself and let the love takes it own course.They do not return, but prepare to sail on forever. These days on the Cruise were the happiest days of life for both Florentino and Fermina. This sad, tragic, often humorous tale is, for me, Garcia Marquez's best novel... a must-read for both fans of the author and hopeless romantics alike.

An amazing writer I must say. The most complicated novel , I have ever read was his novel "100 years of solitude", gosh man , three generations had the same name. How the heck are you going to identify , who is who. Anyways , it was a masterpeice just like "Theory of relativity".



Next in he line was a pretty lite but well formed book , "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach.

"Most gulls don't bother to learn more than the simplest facts of flight--how to get from shore to food and back again," writes author Richard Bach in this allegory about a unique bird named Jonathan Livingston Seagull. "For most gulls it is not flying that matters, but eating. For this gull, though, it was not eating that mattered, but flight." Flight is indeed the metaphor that makes the story soar. Ultimately this is a fable about the importance of seeking a higher purpose in life, even if your flock, tribe, or neighborhood finds your ambition threatening. (At one point our beloved gull is even banished from his flock.) By not compromising his higher vision, Jonathan gets the ultimate payoff: transcendence. Ultimately, he learns the meaning of love and kindness. The dreamy seagull photographs by Russell Munson provide just the right illustrations. This is a spirituality classic, and an especially engaging parable for adolescents.





And today I end up reading "Five Point Someone", by Chetan bhagat.


At first, I thought , man , any guy with an IIT and IIM-A degree in hand , will get noticed. He would be getting un-necessary publicty and media-hype. But when I began reading , I found the stuff interesting. I mean , though the writing was not as intricate as Salman Rushdie or the likes, but the flow was smooth and the story was catchy.

I am not sure though how much is the truth in the story or if it is all fiction , but my best part was "Hari and Neha" and how slowly slowly they moved so intimate to each other. I literally fell in love with Neha and envied Hari , that fatso for having such a gal. In general, Chetan has done a great job in keeping me glued to his 270 page book.

Next in the line is the Booker Prize winner, homemade book "God of Small Things", by Arundhati Roy. Lets see how it goes.

Time to take a small nap before I open my eyes to the chilly morning here in Banagalore.

Mariage Blues !!!!!!

Marriages are made in heaven, then why the become hell on earth. I never got a generic answer to this question, except some common points like mis-understanding, ego and not being honest.

According to the Vedas and other books of knowledge of Hindu Past , there are four ashramas which follow the cycle of growing up, adulthood and getting old and are Brahnacharyi (student), Grihasta householder), Vanaprastha (retirement) and Sannyasin (renunciation). And as per these , a guy can marry at the age of 18 and a girl can marry at the age of 15.
But , if you look at the current society , this rule is followed only by the tribes or some villages , which are just as close to tribes . Even the law does not allow this marriage.
So , now we have , anyone be it guy or a girl , getting married not before 25. And if a guy marries before 25 and that too if it happens to be an arranged marriage , ppl would definately call it a child marriage.

Why do ppl marry ? For procreation ?? Do you wanna screw your life , so that you have somebody whose life will also get screwed the similar way. I tried to think , why ,a person of my age, called 'marriagable age' , would want to get married.

I could find a few reasons , give my lifestyle and the likes around me.To begin with , it really makes a person aware of the world outside his professional life. This is applicable very aptly to ppl working in an industry like IT , where slogging is considered a fashion. If you dont slog , ppl will take you as not serious about your carrier. So , if you are working for 3-4 years like a donkey, the it wldnt matter whether it is Sunday or Thursday. But once you get married, life changes and it has changed for so many ppl around me. I have seen live examples of ppl working for around 16 hours to 7 hours , with the effect of marriage. This reminds me of an ancedote, a senior fellow of my Team , named Ram , was known for working late nights , everyday . Then after marriage , ppl used to say "Spot Ram , get award". So , thats the effect marriage can have. In short , it
makes you aware of the larger picture of life.

Next, in the competetive world in which we live(Peer pressure, CRR ranking, Banding etc), you are always a lil tense and feel like screwed up, and so after working for the whole day , if you do not find anything to comfort you or make your evenings better than end up finding junk food in the evening and dirty lil house of yours, its definately gonna make you sick and frustrated. So, here the wife pitches in and make-up for the bad day you had in the office.Her smile , her talks would make you forget of the office, the issues and the next days action-plan in the office. But yes , it is no guarantee , that what she will remind is pleasent than your office work or not.

Another point , and lets get it straight out , without being too much of a defensive , you wanna enjoy your youth as it is passing by. And with the grace of IT, already the libidos of the either sex is going down. And how long , can you look for some alternatives to gratify yourself. It may sound gross,but its a fact isnt? Come on , go get married and enjoy your physical life as well.

A small point in addition to the second last point, if your other half becomes your friend, then you cannot be any luckier. You can share everything, from generic to your most intimate thoughts without any fear of overstepping. It can be a very wonderful experience.

Another thought which crossed my mind when thinking of marriage is that it reminds you that its time to get in some comfortable shoes. You cannot be nomad throughout your life. Get some stable base and pitch in. Definitely it can make you low in your professional growth, but it provides you the much needed rest in order to start climbing up again. Remember the old saying” Behind every SUCCESSFUL man, there is a woman". But, I would also mention, remember the other side of this phrase too.

Now, that I have thought that it makes some sense to get married, the thing comes, how to get a girl. Going by the current trends of our community, you still do not have much breathing space. The protocol goes like this (mostly), first photographs and kundlis are exchanged. Then one day, the guy's family is invited to the girl's house. And while the whole clan is on the head of the guy, he has to talk to the girl in front of them all.And in something like 2 hour, he is expected a reply , which in many cases becomes a formality as the clans of both the sides have become very friendly and have already started behaving like samdhis. So , you say "yes" to them , under pressure and then you get engaged soon. Now it is only after engagement that you can talk to her on phone or meet her(with the help of her sources). So, in an hour you have to decide on something which is far-far more crucial to you in life than anything else ever. What a tough call, both for the guy or the girl.

My protocol, should go like this. Exchange photos. If both party agrees , then get each other's cell number and start chatting , then go and meet outside the premises of the house and see the comfortablity factor of the other. And if the things go fine, then call your families to pitch in and do the formailty. Wouldnt this be a very comfortable and better judgement for guy and the girl , thinking of marrying. I feel so annoyed when I see a girl walking in the room with a tray of Tea for serving her could-be-in-laws. Where the heck are we going? When will our communities wake up to the reality that choosing a bride or groom is as much a fundamental right as right to live? I just somehow wish that I do not have to go through this entire trauma when I get married. And for those all who are already in deep shit, this is all I can say:

“To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up."

- ATG

What is Love !!

'How long will you be poring over that newspaper? Will you come here
right away and make your darling daughter eat her food?'

I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter Sindu looked
frightened. Tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with Curd Rice.

Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age. She has just turned eight. She particularly detested Curd Rice. My mother and my wife are orthodox, and believe firmly in the 'cooling effects' of Curd Rice!

I cleared my throat, and picked up the bowl. "Sindu, darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this Curd Rice? Just for Dad's sake, dear. And, if you don't, your Mom will shout at me'

I could sense my wife's scowl behind my back. Sindu softened a bit, and wiped
her tears with the back of her hands. 'OK, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should...' Sindu hesitated.

'Dad, if I eat this entire Curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?'

'Oh sure, darling'.

'Promise?'

'Promise'. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and
clinched the deal.

'Ask Mom also to give a similar promise', my daughter insisted. My wife slapped her hand on Sindu's, muttering 'Promise', without any emotion.

Now I became a bit anxious. 'Sindumma, you shouldn't insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that kind of money right now. OK?'

'No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive'. Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child eat something that she detested.

After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her. 'Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!' was her demand!

'Atrocious!' shouted my wife, 'a girl child having her head shaved off? Impossible!'.

'Never in our family!' my mother rasped. 'She has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!'

'Sindumma, why don't you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing
you with a clean-shaven head.'

'No, Dad. I do not want anything else', Sindu said with finality.

'Please, Sindu, why don't you try to understand our feelings?' I tried to plead with her.

'Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice'. Sindu was in tears. 'And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for. Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra, and its moral that we should honour our promises no matter what?'

It was time for me to call the shots. 'Our promise must be kept.'

'Are you out your mind?' chorused my mother and wife.

'No. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honour her own. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.'

With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big &
beautiful.

On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned around and waved. I waved back with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, 'Sinduja, please wait for me!'

What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. 'May be, that is the in-stuff', I thought. 'Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!' Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued, 'That boy who is walking along with your
daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from ... ... leukaemia.'

She paused to muffle her sobs. 'Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue. But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son! Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.'

I stood transfixed. And then, I wept. 'My little Angel, will you grant me a boon? Should there be another birth for me, will you be my mother, and teach me what Love is?