Love Is All You Need ?

“All you need is love,
All you need is love,
Love is all you need …”

I was listening to this song the whole day and it just stuck me, what do I need ?

So below is what I felt :




I had had long thoughts about love marriage and I always wished to have one. But a question came to my mind. I want love marriage or just love. Is marriage being done for the social norm and all I wish is love. But then the practical self comes into focus and says that you cannot live just being in love, it has to lead to something, and that something is in majority of cases, marriage, or sometimes, live-ins. But then is marriage able to sustain love, because marriage is not love, its an arrangement, a compromise, an understanding for each other’s need. So, can marriage hamper love, or does it enhance it. I could not really give an answer to it, but most likely, most of us would say that it enhances love, as it gives a chance to let people be more closely and intimately bound and would allow them to understand the other person in many different situations, but on the other hand, it can kill the feeling of love, by bringing in the everyday trifles and diminishing the importance of each other to nothing more than another person, and the life becomes as usual, it maybe for other arranged marriage couples.

Another thought about love was, what we feel for other person, is it love, lust, infatuation or just the loss of companionship. If we meet someone everyday and talk with each other everything under sun and are comfortable with their nature, and if that person departs, we feel a loss and a very strong feeling of loosing something. Now, does this indicate the feeling of love or just the companionship? In fact I don’t even know the definition of love, but just trying to contemplate the different feelings which we have for the other person and which one resembles closely to love. Love at first sight as they say, is mostly lust at first sight, but there are instances when you see the other person and your body immediately behaves in a very weird manner. It starts to secrete hormones which give you a feel that you are in love, with that person. Now, this is just a lust or infatuation I do not know, but we experience these feeling very often in our life.


I have tried to find which the closest feeling to the feeling of love is and have felt that the feeling of companionship is the closest one. If you miss someone’s company, if you miss someone’s talk, someone’s touch (not the intimate one), I guess you love that person, or at least you are quite close to loving that person.

To me, love is not about having a girl friend and boasting about her, to my friends. Its not about calling her in the middle of the night and saying “I Love you”, or gifting her a huge bouquet of flowers on valentine day or trying to find in desperate attempts to find some gift for her on her birthday. To me love or companionship is quite simple, no frills arrangement, where I don’t need to emphasize that I love her, I don’t need to buy bouquet for her, just because its V-day or trying to find a present for her. If I feel like gifting something, I would do it on the day I get this feeling. To me, she will understand me and so will I. To me, looking into her eyes, holding her hand, walking on the beach, sipping a cup of tea in the lawn, is the kind of experience which will give me a more satisfactory feeling than some crazy shopping and buy a diamond necklace for her. To me, we should be friends, and friends with good amount of understanding. I am not in for some crazy energy relationship; I would appreciate a more settled and maybe mature relationship.

A friend of mine asked me causally, why do we say that somebody has “fallen” in love? Should we not rise in Love. Should we not be more mature and feeling better about ourselves now? I don’t know how this sentence became popular, but I guess what it meant is that one has to fall in the heart of other person, look deep down in that person to feel that person and maybe its what is called “falling”.

Sometimes, I feel that I love to be in love. Just the feeling of love is so lovely that I love it. Here, I do not need any other person; I just need solace and think about how it feels to be in love, to hold someone’s hand, to walk with someone, to look into somebody’s eyes and the feeling which I derive out of it, gives me so much pleasure and satisfaction. So, maybe I am in love with love.


I sometimes feel, why is that I never fell in love, or at least didn’t dive deep in love. I had infatuations, crushes but nothing like a feeling of love, a feeling when your other senses start behaving in a different fashion. When you smile, all alone with any reason, where you are hungry but do not really feel the hunger, where people talk to you, around you, but you do not feel their talks. You are in some other world, a world where only you and the person you are in love, exist. This feeling may sound childish or stupid but I guess this is the feeling when you fall in love, but this feeling is quite different from the feeling of a companionship, so I guess the feeling of love is the initial feeling towards other person. It might be even a funny feeling, but this feeling itself cannot sustain the relationship, because the feeling of love has high energy and as is the law, anything which is has high energy has to come back to the normal level, by releasing energy, either by exploding or by reducing the levels slowly, giving way to the maturity of the relationship. So, we can be in a feeling closer to love, by either being in love, with the high energy levels or we can seek a companion where the level of maturity is there. The first one is crazy, exciting but has less success rate, the second one is simple, no frills, but has a very high success rate.

I personally feel I would like to go in for the relationship of the companion, less exciting and more mature, but sometimes, my hormones drive me crazy when I see a beautiful lass and it makes me feel, I wish I was in love with that gal. I guess the mixture of lust, love and infatuation plays a great role when you feel something for the other person. I am confused and would have to think deeper to understand what I really want. Meanwhile, I will just take a walk in my apartment, feeling not love, but the fresh air.

Long Lost Bharat

Today while casually browsing through wikipedia, I came across article on Aryabhata. The only thing I recollect when I think about him is that he was a great mathematician. But I never cared to find, what he were his achievements. Today, when I read about him, I was stunned to find what all he had achieved centuries back in 400AD. The few achievements of Aryabhata:

1) Value of Pi to 4 decimal places and that is it an irrational number.
2) Finding the area of a triangle, values of sin, cos etc
3) The reason why eclipse happen.
4) The movement of the stars as a relative motion caused by the rotation of the earth.
5) Circumference of earth, which is only 0.2% smaller than the actual value
6) The duration of the day, this is only 0.01 sec more than the actual value.
7) The duration of the year, this is only 3 mintues 20 second longer than the actual value.
8) Earth is rotating around its own axis.
9)Aryabhata algorithm to solve first degree Diophantine equations.

These are few of the key achievements of this genius.

I am sure, rarely would anyone know most of these, barring one or two.

I feel so ashamed that we do not know of a person, a genius who was born in India and we are trying to grasp concepts so many foreign scientists. Is there no self pride, is there no value for the achievement of our own people. Are we shy in acknowledging the amazing insight we Indians had, long before the western developed such theories.

And I think of Vedas and I am blank again. We tend to think that Vedas are just religious sculptures, but we are wrong, they have covered all the different walks of life. Social, Economic, Education, Spiritual etc. They are a storehouse of immense knowledge, but we were never exposed to them. We just get some reference in some religious book etc.

India had been so advanced in terms of the knowledge and understanding of the whole universe, and that was because of the adhyatam, the perseverance to seek the truth and the knowledge and the meditation, which helped the great gurus to seek abundance of knowledge and wisdom. Unfortunately, most of us have never been exposed to this side of the Hinduism and were always shown a too religious face of it. Hinduism is not just about God, it is about understanding the deeper self, its about self realization, its about getting more knowledge and wisdom.

I really wish to learn more about Vedas and the ancient India, which is almost forgotten by us, barring a few historians etc.

What do you feel about this? Should us not rejuvenate our old texts and try to understand what they meant. We still have not understood everything which is being stated in Vedas and Purans, and that is why there are different versions of the same, published by different people.

Chaos in my life

Off late, lot of chaos has entered my life. Reading my horoscope, views of my palmistry friend, debating with friends over the issues of life and thinking about my life.

While debating with my friends, I was surprised to discover that one of them wants to go in for , self -realization, which means , in all likelihood, he may not marry at all. I have been god fearing and believe in the power of God, but self-realization is completely different, its about knowing yourself so well that your body, mind and your intellect cannot bother you any more. It sounds so distant and philosophical, but there is my friend who is actually aiming to pursue it, which means he will give up most of the pleasures of life, to achieve this. And thinking deep about this made me realize that conviction towards something is most important to lead a satisfied life. I was so afraid of small challenges and small goals and here is a person who is much younger than me and he is aiming to devote rest of his life in order to pursue a goal, which he believed in. It has really made me a different person; my thinking has taken a good change.

Then there is another friend of mine, who is not keen to get married, because he thinks he himself doesn’t have answer to so many question of life that he is not in a position to give proper and un-biased guidance to his children. Though it sounds very stupid and trivial, but what it brings out is a very legitimate question and that is, do we want our children to be our mirror image or do we want them to be something of their own, because if we want them to have their own identity, then we have to understand life, beyond what we have lived, else we will teach them what we were taught, and we would not able to given them an open view of life. It made me think how biased and in-flexible I am on so many beliefs which I would impose upon other if I do not observe them in the light of logic and reality.

While talking about personality and character of an individual, it came out that most of us , have been very shy and reserved kind of people throughout our childhood. We never went to the stage , never participated in any competition, never did any extra -curricular activities and were mostly focused on studies. And this continued until we entered college and that was the time, when most of us came out of our cocoon, when we faced the harsh world, when we were ragged, when we debated, when we fought for our views. But in my case, that was all there, but if I look back at my college days and my personality then, I feel, I was far away from the kind of personality I possessed now. I have gained enormously from working in a corporate, meeting people from different society and culture, seeing the most posh and sophisticated environment and still feeling at ease. This was the time, when I realized the minuteness of life, when I realized what weight age to give to the mundane flashy surroundings and what is the key of a good life, and I found , what Any Rand has stated very strongly in her book, "The Fountainhead", not be slaves to other's opinions but to have a proper understanding of your own self. You should not be told you are good; to know that you are good, you should know where you stand and you should not get swayed by other's opinion. You should always introspect, but be truthful to your inner self. If tomorrow someone says I am a great software engineer, I should know what the reality is and should not feel as a great software engineer, because someone saw such greatness in me. And another thing which connects with this philosophy is modesty. When you know yourself well enough, then you do not get over-excited or deride other because of the knowledge you have. You are modest, because you do not have to show-off to anyone. You are at peace with your inner self and that is what you reflect to other, when you interact with them.

So, in short, last few days, have been a strong agitated ones, which have left many questions open to myself which I need to seek answers in order to get more clarity in my life.

PS: Thank you Alka, for awakening me to write another post.