Thy Neighbour Going Back To India

 Today, our front door neighbors are going back to India after staying in US for 3+ years. It was a nostalgic moment for me as I recollect the memories of them over past 3 years. Somewhere I felt that they were lucky to get the opportunity (through force) to go back to their country. They will be able to spend time with their parents,their siblings.Their son will have a big family to enjoy.

For long time,  we have also been talking about going back. Been here for 5 years in US. But just like others, we are stuck here with the charm of the place, the clean environment, time for self, ability to explore any interest and specially education for kids. I enjoy the long drives (like 14 hrs to Florida), the beautiful state parks, the camping, the adventure sports (ski,ice skating), several cuisines (Thai, Mediterranean, Ethiopian, Chinese, Mexican, French, Italian, Cuban..). I enjoy the beautiful roads, so well marked, so well maintained, so clean.I enjoy the cheep gas (@ 2$/gallon). I enjoy the grand rental cars. i enjoy the vast variety of good quality food and fruits, so many varieties of apples, oranges, avacados, plums, pears, big lemons, greens ,baby carrots. Every product (food, clothing, house products) has so many choices, so many luring deals, seamless product returns, clear instructions for everything, police is tough but polite, less crowded in most of the places.

I like my beautiful backyard, which was so full of green grass when i came and now is completely grass-less, thanks to all the kids of my neighbourhood and my kids and myself, playing soccer, cricket, gaga game, cycling etc. From my ground floor balcony, its a seamless backyard, full of trees, squirels, birds, racoon. I fed them tortila chips, Aashi fed them cashew nuts, Ansh fed them anything which i would keep in balcony for them.  We have spent so many years playing soccer. I taught all these kids (Sree, Aneesh, Ansh, Aashna, Sid, Rakshit, Siddharth, Rylee, Myrah, Vidhita,Sakita, Aashita, Suveer, Suhas). I became their friends, just like any other friend, they would come to my house asking (nah demanding) for me to come and play soccer with them. I would choose a weeker team (aashi, vidhita, Rakshit, Suhas) and leave others to the other set of kids.  But due to my leg cramps,its has become very painful to play. So I content now with long walks with my wife. But in process of playing soccer with kids, i get to know them well, their strength and their emotional,physical weekness. I am called the 'Coach sir', by all my neighbours.

Some day i will write more about life in US, but for now i will end this blog by stating that, with all that i have here, i still miss my country, my parents, the festivals, the causal way of living, the closeness with siblings.

Soon i will go home.Just waiting, how soon....

Good Night

Anil The Dad with 2 Kids (not a yogi anymore :) 

A Lucky Draw Of Happiness !!

Today I was talking to a friend of mine, who was telling about this friend of her's who has a very strong personality. For ease, lets call my friend as S and her friend as R.

So R was saying that when she is with R, she feels so great, R is so enthusiastic and excited about S , she gives so much attention to S that makes S feel so special. But when R is not with S, she will not even call once or she will make some plans of her's without informing S. Or she will cancel her plans with S, without even informing her.

So, I was trying to understand why R behaves this way, as she would be hurting S. But S says , since R makes her enjoy when she is with her, so she does not care about the other times when she ignore her other times.


This made me think, is S right in her thoughts or is she just becoming a victim.

I am not here to analyze S's thoughts, but just trying to understand the cause and effect of this kind or relationship.

What was special about Hitler? He was an excellent orator, had a charismatic personality.

Why are American so good in marketing, because they show such enthusiasm and attention to their customers that it makes their customers feel special.

This is what is the kind of personality R exhibit. She bring out her strong personality with the masses( say S and others)and she gives them so much attention when she is with them, that she leaves a long lasting impression in them, and successfully makes them her loyal friends(fans), who will be there for her at her beck and call , whenever she feels like, but at the same time, she doesn't have any emotional link with her friends(fans), but her friends feel as strong bond between themselves and her, because of the happiness which they feel when they are with her. So, here itself, there is a mismatch in the equation. One side is emotionally and strongly attached to the other person, and this person R has no emotional attachment with them.

Now, the next problem, or should I say, the reason why R exhibits this behavior. Now R makes a plan to go for shopping. Nobody likes to shop alone, so she will ask her friends(fans), to go shopping with her. Since they all feel so happy being with her, so she will most likely get quite a few no of them, to go with her. So, now all she has to do is to choose them best among the lot and go with her. So, she has solved her purpose of getting one company and thus is able to avoid what most of the people feels so sad about, i.e not finding any company to go out sometimes. So, she is all happy. Now, what happens to the other people whom she asked but didn't go with them. They will feel sad and lonely, and will try to kill time or will try to pick some of their other friends and see if anyone is available and as expected would not find many takes for her plan.

So, what I see here is that R is using people for her own satisfaction and people like S and the likes are her pawn which she always can keep in her pocket and use them at her own discretion. She is a practical woman who's only motive is to think about herself and damm the rest of the world, in a very smart manner.

Can you call people like R, your friends, with whom they can share anything anytime freely and expect a whole hearted reply from her. Or should they keep waiting for the days when R will chose them among the lot of her friends and take them out.

Do you want someone to dictate the happiness of your life or do you want to take command of it yourself and invest your emotions and energy into a friend who can reciprocate the same and doesn't make your happiness a chance of lucky draw among other friends of her?

PS: I have no qualms about R as she is just following the Darwin's theory of "survival of the fittest".