Solitude of a woman

I have just finished watching "Charulata", by Satyajit Ray. I need to not say any words about the him, for everybody knows that he, an Indian filmmaker, is among the dozen or so great masters of world cinema, is known for his humanistic approach to cinema.

This movie has inspired me to write this post. Charulata is a beautiful, intelligent woman, who wants to do a lot in life, write poems, stories etc, but is suppressed into a woman, charged with maintaining the daily chores of an upper-class house. Her husband loves and cares for her, but doesn’t understand too much of her feelings and remains too busy with his co-wife, the printing press. Then she meets her brother-in-law and falls in love with him.

It was then, decades back. How this situation does go now?
A wife, after some years of marriage, well settled in life, have small kids, busy doing daily chores of life, making pickles, doing gardening, maintaining the house, is happy, or so it seems. She is always seen contented, no complaints, ready to devote enough time to prepare small things for her family. And her husband is busy with work, he is at his ripe age of career , progressing, holding more responsibilities and earning big bucks. He is absorbed in his quest for higher position, more visibility and a bigger dream. But his wife, however hard she tries, cannot be so enthusiastic about his dream, she still lounges for his attention, his pecks, his warmth and his time for her. But she gets none and understands the reason well. She tries to devote herself to different things like gardening, making soups and pickles but nothing comforts her loneliness. A PhD student, almost of her age, comes to live with them as a paying guest. This tenant is well cultured, friendly and humorous. He would be invited for lunch and dinner at their dinning table. Since her husband would work for odd hours, so he would be mostly be having food with her, alone? She was happy as he would give her company and would help her with some work, like paying bills etc. Given his humorous nature, she would get a good company in him and would look forward to her from him. They had a quite lively relationship, which was based on trust and understanding.

This went on for around 15 months. Her husband was well aware of their discussion and given an honest nature of his tenant, he had no doubts in his mind. In fact he would join them, and all the three would have great time together. But all this time, charu was feeling the loneliness of her husband, the physical touch, the intimacy of her relationship with her husband, which she enjoyed a lot during her early does of marriage. So, she was slowly drawn towards her tenant, physically, and he too started having feelings for her, but both didn’t express it for long time, fearing. Then one day, while chatting, Charu asks him, what she meant to him and in his expressions, he stated indirectly, that he loves her and she also responded indirectly that she too loves him. And in few more months, they fall for each other and maintain a physical relationship. This relationship gave her physical pleasure combined with the lovely company of her tenant. It did not deter her from serving her husband as best as she could, but she also longed for her relationship with her tenant.

NOW, the question comes, whether she is doing is a heinous crime, an act of promiscuity ....
Below, I write open questions, the answers, even I don’t know, but I feel these questions need to be answered before we can pronounce a judgment for Charu.
1) what is right or wrong? Is there an absolute scale or is it just a frame of reference, which can be changed?
2) Its considered a sin in society, to have an extra-marital relationship, but what is sin and what is society consists of? Can something consider sin, is sin for everyone? Its like obscenity for one can be a fully acceptable thing to the other.
Animals have polygamous relationship, and they have evolved it over centuries, so is it that they are still not settled, they are still developing as a species?
They don’t have a stable social system?
3) How is it correct to curb one's emotions and feeling for the sake of being called respectable? Is it that we need a change in attitude or is it that the definitions are very robust and need no change?
4) Should Charu be held for felony and be punished for the "crime" which she as per society, she has committed?
5) She has one life. Should she hold her emotions and feelings for the sake of pleasing the society which do not care anything for her, when she is actually lonely?
6) Can people overcome the fear of doing an act of felony for the sake of pleasure? Is is normal or a dreaded sin?

I do not have concrete answers to it and maybe many of you may not have an open minded answer, because we are ruled by impulses and our thought process pronounce an immediate judgment and we believe completely in it.

It’s a question, very relevant in current scenario, where many of the males and females are striving towards an ambitious carrier and maybe ignoring the feelings of their partner. Is the only solution, divorce?

-ATG