Saturday, January 21, 2006

Silence of the man !!

Have you realized lately that you have stopped talking as much as you used to do in your childhood?

At least I have. And it has gone down drastically. And mind you, i am not talking about the crap (that is to kill time only) I am talking about the quality talks. There were times when I used to talk to my best friends and my parents and brother and sister, heart to heart. It was a talk about my life, their life, and the thoughts about the things around us.

It has changed now. I am away from home for last three years; most of my friends live in different time zones, calling my parents, brother and sister has become a ritual 5 minutes standard talk.

In this professional world, I did not find many takers for a deep thoughts talk. You can talk about the new chick in project or neighborhood, or the new bike, or the job offers coming your way. You can talk about Al Qaeda, about NR Narayana Murthy and Government. You can talk about the new movie releases, about the crime in Delhi and now Bangalore too, you can talk about stock market and investments, you can talk about how your company sucks, you can talk about so many mundane things in life, but there are no takers of your personal talks. I am not sure if I am an exception or it is a generalized statement, but I have found in so many chats with so many people and every chat revolved around the same mundane things. So, what happens now? You have to release your emotions, your feelings, and your inner self. Where do you go? Yes, for those fortunate souls who have a dedicated boy/girl friend, they have a person who can provide the solace, but what about others, they are left bewildered, a little helpless, they resort to this new medium called Internet, be it in the form of chat groups, messenger chatting, blogging, forums or surfing topics of their interest.

Earlier the things were not that bad, people used to talk, neighborhood was like an extended families, the whole town would know about each other. A happy occasion in one house would be reflected across the entire street.
Even now if I go to my grandpa's home in village, I see so much buzzing, people chatting, sharing jokes and anecdotes expressing their problems, crying, shouting, even fighting. I see human interactions. Real emotions in their faces.

Come back to my place here in US, I hardly talk with people whom I stay with. Everybody is busy with their laptops, or mobile phones. We just meet for lunch or dinner or sometimes cook together and then back to our laptops. How laptops have replaced humans. You really don’t feel a need to talk. Frankly speaking, I chat more on net than the real life chat. I do want to talk to people, share ideas and view with them, discuss life, discuss issues close to my heart, but again , find no takers. There is a whole lot of superficiality now. People talk you in a very calculated manner and unfortunately you also have to reply in a precisely calculated manner. Talks become so standard that at times you can guess what the person is going to ask next.

No, I am not frustrated but I am sad, I am just telling the truth. And I do not say that all of you would be feeling the same thing, but there is gloominess in the life now. Nobody seems happy, everyone has a pale face, sad story no friends , yet do not want to make friends, share life, because they think its too much of investment of time and emotions, they want to hide their emotions. I don’t recall when was the last time I cried, shouted, or fought with someone. Maybe a decade back. Now anything comes in my life, the biggest tragedy(god forbid), biggest happiness or some height of stupidity, all emotions are just the same, they have no varying degree of emotions, just a flicker on the face and the life is normal. I think people resort to movies to express their emotions, they cry , they laugh , the shout when they watch movies, because its not their emotions, its not their talks, so they can express themselves without feeling embarrassed. Pity, we need reel movies to express our real emotions!!

And this is the same thing happening in any section of society and any relationship, be it parents and children, be it husband and wife, be it neighbors, anybody and everybody.

I hate this living and wish to improve it. I talk to people even if they express interest, on the simple thought that probably they also wanted to talk but couldn’t do the first start, so let me make the first move. Sometimes it is good but mostly I have to go back, people do not feel comfortable talking to you.

I so much wish, I had spent hours talking to great friends and people than chatting with some unknown faces (on a priority basis I am saying). Looks like mode of communication has started to change, now only our hands will talk (chat), we can shut up our Mouth and speak only on special occasions.

12 Comments:

Blogger That Girl said...

thats so true...people in the west hardly talk.. its like they cant be bothered.. or cant be bothered to take an effort to talk...individualism and privacy efforts have alientated people so much these days...

i felt the same in canada.. thankfully did find a few friends who werent like that...but it takes a while...

people are way to absorbed in their own lives to give a damn about others.. and that way India is to be appreciated..

thanks for visiting my blog!! will come back here again soon!!

6:10 PM  
Blogger Krak said...

I don't quite understand where you are comming from with this theory. I for one would like to differ.

Personally I think I speak more now than I ever did before in my life.

Long hearty conversations.

May be you miss someone so badly that you feel sad and depressed towards life.

Cheerup buddy you have only seen a qurter of life and I think there is are wonderful things ahead in life that you want to think about and feel happy.

I hope next time you will change you negative line of thinking/blogging and start writing about good and cheerful stuff in life.

I say, you only live once, your choice whether you want to live it happly or other wise.

6:23 PM  
Blogger Harashita R. R. Bajaj said...

hey i think u r right...when we were kids we used to speak out everything...u know its like kids are so innocent, whatever runs through their heart they say it out...they r timid enough to not understand what others will feel or think about them...but with age these barriors limit us...not only this self consiousness but also the fear of hurting the other person by sharing what we feel restrains us from talking things out.

gr8 post man

11:25 PM  
Blogger Anil.kumar03@gmail.com said...

@gg : i have started hating these words, individualism and privacy, its a disguise to oneself from expressing to others. Good friends are the most sought after treasure in today's world.

@kp : good to see that you are reading my posts, but all I can say now is that, you are pretty lucky to have someone to speak your heart out. As for the posts, its not an intentional negative approach , but I guess the gloominess in life does show way to the blogs :(

@dg : we talk to each other in the same house , different rooms, using laptops, this is the height of addiction.

@harshitha :very true, as a kid, you are just open to the whole world. I try to talk and chat with my neices as much as possible, I am so happy at those times.

11:50 PM  
Blogger Vaikunth said...

Dude. Time to get married :)

Good to see your blog getting popularity :)

BTW, why have you changed your pic and gone hiding?

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:)))))))
Nice to hear from you and I am reading your blog between classes and running to be on time for next one...
Miss our talks,look like you u2.
Open nature for urself and ...maybe he the city?
JJ

12:05 AM  
Blogger Anil.kumar03@gmail.com said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:26 AM  
Blogger Shikha said...

People talk less when there is noone worth talking to..I miss talking to my friends..but I do call them up and then i get those huge phone bills...

1:38 AM  
Blogger Anil.kumar03@gmail.com said...

@vaik : for a change, pics on and off.
i am just trying to write my thoughts as I feel it. Popularity or not, has no relevance except that it does give me other perspectives too.
and plz marriage is not a solution its an alternative. I am looking for a solution or should I say trying to analyse the problem.

@JJ : I could not guess who you were . I was sleeping and trying to guess you and there you were so vividly clear. I really miss our talks. BTw, howz ur cat :D

@shikha : that what I end up doing too. I wont say its not someone not worth talking to, its people lie in ther cocoon that they dont want to come out of it.

1:43 AM  
Blogger Jina said...

I think its because as we grow older the number of masks we wear also increase...and its so difficult to reach the deep within a mask...

11:36 AM  
Blogger Emotions said...

hey u hv been tagged by me !!

all d bst !!

12:13 AM  
Blogger Anil.kumar03@gmail.com said...

@ursjina : probably true.

@emotions : thanx.

9:29 AM  

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